How to improve Mother & Daughter Relationship

For Improving Mother-Daughter Relationships

First, you are going to want to isolate what the root cause of the problem is. For most, one of the key underlying problems in many mother-daughter relationships is that the mother sees the daughter as a "little her" and tries to project onto her. For example, she sees her daughter as someone who she can help avoid certain mistakes, and who can do what she never was able to do. For example, if she never went to college because she married right out of high school she may force her daughter that direction without ever thinking about what the daughter wants. 

If you want to have an improved mother-daughter relationship you need to let your daughter grow and live and learn at her own pace, in her own style. No one likes to be forced to do something they do not want to, and it gets worse when it is a parent forcing them. So, instead be supportive of their goals, encourage improvement, and love them irregardless.

Do fun things together too. Go get your nails done, or your hair. A lot of times mom's and daughters only interact at home where there are chores to be done, meals to be fixed etc. So, try to interact with one another without the pressures of needing to switch the laundry etc. It is up to you to make the relationship fun as well as responsible, so do things you can enjoy together, and do them often, once a month, or more if possible.

Find out what daughters share about their mother-daughter relationship:

These specific mother-daughter relationship problems tips help you improve this special relationship and get a fresh view. Get insights and experience a more satisfying and loving mother-daughter relationship!

One day I learnt that my mother had confided to one of her close friends that she felt terrorized by her daughter. My mother was referring to me!

I was shocked. How could she experience our relationship like that?

She was the dominating party in this relationship causing all problems! How bossy she could be! And sometimes down right manipulative to get her way!

But how could she share something intimate like that to her friend?! Why not talk to me about this? I felt so betrayed and hurt by my mother!

All my life I was only doing my best to please my mother as much as I can. I shaped my life such that she would be happy with me, be proud of me and finally give me the love I deserve.

I felt that my mother did not even see all my efforts to please her and all the sacrifices I made. I felt that she was denying my love for her. In my worse moments I felt that I meant nothing to her.

It took me years to find out who my mother actually was as a real person.

I assumed and expected a lot of behaviors of her being in the role of “my mother”. This excluded her being a real person with real feelings and moods and emotions. My mother as a real person apparently had relationship problems with her husband. She was also not ready to let go of her own mother since they had a lot of unfinished business. She also had some relationship problems with her daughter (me!).

My mother felt hurt pretty often I guess, but was a master in hiding these hurts and pains. I also learnt that her hurts and pains have nothing, absolutely nothing to do with me.

Now I only deal with my own hurt, with experiencing being betrayed and denied. I don’t want to end up like her and do my best to open up to my true feelings, good or bad. Because I want to be happy, really happy!

Tags:



comments powered by Disqus